Post by highvoltageziggy on Jun 4, 2007 6:51:10 GMT -5
Ok here it is! The final chapter! Please comment on what you think as I am desporate to know what people think of my work. This was only a pilot episode so please let me know if you want me to write more!
I hope you've enjoyed the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it!
ok here goes. Thank you for all your support
SCENE 24. INT. MESS - NIGHT LAURENCE IS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE COFFEE IN HIS MELANCHOLIC STATE AFTER POURING OUT THE BOILING WATER FROM THE KETTLE HE TRIES TO SPOON UP SOME COFFEE WHEN HE FINDS OUT THERE IS NO COFFEE LEFT, HE SIGHS AND GRABS A TEA BAG AND MAKES HIMSELF A CUP OF TEA LAURENCE'S BLEEPER, WHICH WAS, ON THE SIDE BOARD, GOES OFF BY PLAYING A REALTONE VERSION OF THE WHITE STRIPE'S "BLACK MATH" FLYNN: (TO THE BLEEPER) yeah you think you’re the only one in pain. Get a ticket and wait in line. NOBLE ENTERS NOBLE: Hey Flynn. FLYNN IGNORES NOBLE AND MAKES TEA IN A TEA POT NOBLE (CONT'D): You know that's the tea pot Graham vomited in! LAURENCE ROLLS HIS EYES AND POURS THE TEA HE WAS MAKING DOWN THE SINK AS WELL AS DROPPING THE TEA POT ITSELF IN THE SINK FLYNN: (PAUSE) Look I already feel agonised about what happened yesterday so whatever mean or snide comment you have to make about it. Write it on a post-it note and stick it on my window. I'm going to sleep! NOBLE: What you didn't enjoy yourself? FLYNN: No Noble I didn't. And if you don't mind I wont be organising any more parties in the future unless you want to give me a nervous breakdown which I would completely understand if that was your target as it's seems to be everyone else's. NOBLE: What are you talking about? It was brilliant! Graham had a blast! FLYNN: (CURIOUS) Really? NOBLE: Yeah he said your auntie was the most hilarious thing he'd ever seen! He wants to give her a slot at the comedy club! FLYNN: (ROLLING HIS EYES) oh. NOBLE: Look Flynn… FLYNN: No Noble. I appreciate you really giving a good go at this mentoring thing but you can't solve everything in my life. I'm not gonna try and mix any more. NOBLE: (STUNNED) Oh (BEAT) can I ask why? FLYNN: (BEAT) Noble I'm not like you. Ok. I didn't have friends when I was growing up. I'm not surprised I don't have any now. Lets just leave it at that LAURENCE ATTEMPTS TO EXIT NOBLE: Flynn… FLYNN: No Noble. I really you trying but (BEAT) your wasting your time! LAURENCE ATTEMPTS AGAIN TO LEAVE BUT IS STOPPED BY NOBLE NOBLE: Wait. Flynn FLYNN: No please. NOBLE: No let me say this! (PAUSE) listen I thought about what happened yesterday and… I realise what you must be going through in your life at the moment is quite… difficult… and I don't know if it would make the slightest bit of difference but…(SHOWS FLYNN A SMALL BOOK WRAPPED IN SOME WRAPPING PAPER) I got you this! FLYNN: Oh what's this? Another vile of adrenaline? NOBLE: No! Open it! AFTER A SHORT PAUSE. FLYNN DOES SO REVILING THE BOOK TO BE A RATHER BRIGHT RED DIARY NOBLE (CONT'D): It's a diary. Write about your life. FLYNN: (SURPRISED) Oh. (PAUSE) Thanks Noble NOBLE: Your welcome. (PUTS HIS HAND ON FLYNN'S SHOULDER) Don't give up yet mate! (BEAT) It would be a shame if you did. (PAUSE) see you tomorrow. NOBLE EXITS LAURENCE TAKES A LOOK AT HIS RED DIARY AND GOES TO SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA WITH IT HE TAKES A PEN FROM HIS TOP WHITE COAT POCKET AND BEGINS TO WRITE LAURENCE: (V.O.) Dear diary. (ANGRY) Well you'll never guess what happened to me yesterday! LAURENCE LOOKS UP AND AFTER A SHORT PAUSE LAUGHS TO HIMSELF LAURENCE (CONT'D): (V.O.) (SMILING) yep you'll never guess what happened to me yesterday but I can tell you I'm lucky to be talking to you about it. At least in my own tone of voice! NOBLE ENTERS AGAIN NOBLE: Oh just one other thing. If it ever were to come up again for… whatever reason or circumstance it may be (BEAT) I would be more than happy to perform the operation! LAURENCE PUTS HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS BLACK OUT END OF EPISODE
Post by Sailor Earth on Jun 4, 2007 7:03:50 GMT -5
Oooo! ;D That was awesome!
Wacky and funny, and a cool plot
Yes I'd like to see more ;D Thank you for posting it here!
And to be honest I'm glad you didn't give Flynn a "love interest" that actually went his way, because that never happened in TLC so it stayed "canon" (even though I did feel sorry for him because of that, hehe )
Post by Sailor Earth on Jun 5, 2007 17:39:56 GMT -5
Yeah maintstream = boring!
If I was at that hospital he'd be beating me off with a stick
You could try posting the story on a place like FanFiction.net to get more people to see it Or even set up a Live Journal and post it there, and join Communities that relate to Reece so you can "Friend" people and see if they'll read it
Post by highvoltageziggy on Jun 5, 2007 18:29:12 GMT -5
Thanks. Will probs try some of those out.
Laurence to me is a heroic icon of quirkyness. He's proof that a man does not have to be some one-sided prince charming to mkae a diffrence to the world! In fact he shows it's probably best if men weren't like that and were more happy with their individulaity (spes if it's artisitc - (Laurence is HUGELY arty).
He's certainly my type of man what a shame that doesn't appeal to everyone.
To quote Laurence himself - "I'm a real man. Not some prince charming disguised prositute!
Post by highvoltageziggy on Jul 22, 2007 19:55:39 GMT -5
Here it is! Episode 2. It's entitled "Rage"! Hope you like it! COMMENT PPL!
SCENE 1. INT. NIGHTINGALE PLACE - LAURENCE'S FLAT - LAURENCE'S BEDROOM - DAY LAURENCE SITS UP IN HIS BED YAWNING AND STRETCHES ATTEMPTING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SHAKE UP HIS SEVERE TIREDNESS NARRATOR: (V.O.) This is Laurence Flynn. He is wondering why he was born into such a gloomy world. A world that makes him appear to be socially embarrassing, too neurotic to be able to control his own self esteem and worst of all (BEAT) short. However after this period of black cloud over his head, Laurence eventually finds light at the end of the tunnel by him remembering some of the beautiful things that life has to offer in the world. (BEAT) The most easy to remember one being the little moments of happiness he likes to have which are kept under the title of (BEAT) Prozac. LAURENCE LOOKS AT HIS WATCH AND COLLAPSES BACK INTO BED WITH A SIGH HE SNORES UNTIL, WITH CURIOSITY, HE LOOKS AT HIS WATCH AGAIN ONLY, WITH A SCREAM, TO FIND OUT HE IS LATE FOR WORK FLYNN: I'm late! LAURENCE RUNS INTO THE BATHROOM STILL IN HIS PYJAMAS AND STARTS MANIC SEARCHING THROUGH THE CUPBOARDS FOR SOME TOOTHPASTE FLYNN (CONT'D): Oh why! What have I done! (SEARCHING) Ok toothpaste! Toothpaste. Ugh! Why can't I find anything in this stupid house! (looking at the bottles he searches through) What is all this stuff? LAURENCE STOPS HIS SEARCH AND FREEZES IN A STATE OF SHOCK WHEN HE SEES AND FEELS SOMETHING IN THE CUPBOARD AS HE SLOWLY PULLS IT OUT IT IS REVEALED TO BE WHAT LOOKS LIKE A GUINEA PIG WHO HAS BEEN SUFFOCATED BY BEING PLACED IN A ZIPPED PLASTIC BAG LAURENCE, WHILST SHAKING, SLOWLY REMOVES THE BAG FROM THE CUPBOARD AND PLACES IT IN THE NEARBY BIN FLYNN (CONT'D): (TO HIMSELF IN TERROR) ok… don't panic. You call the police. And if she kills you at least you'll die a hero. FROM THE NEXT ROOM, LAURENCE'S BLEEPER GOES OFF FLYNN (CONT'D): Oh for god sake LAURENCE CONTINUES HIS SEARCH FOR TOOTHPASTE FLYNN (CONT'D): Ok toothpaste. Toothpaste…. Ah! (LOOKING AT THE TOOTHPASTE)(PAUSE) do I still wanna use that considering where it's been? (BEAT) Yes I do cause I'm late! LAURENCE, IN A RUSH, BRUSHES HIS TEETH
SCENE 2. INT. LAURENCE'S FLAT-MAIN LIVING AREA - DAY LAURENCE'S BLEEPER RINGS AGAIN FLYNN: (O.O.V) Oh FOR GOD SAKE! LAURENCE RUNS IN ANGER INTO THE MAIN LIVING AREA FULLY DRESSED (INCLUDING HIS BLACK JACKET) FLYNN (CONT'D): For god sake. (LOOKS AT HIS BLEEPER) Yeah I know! LAURENCE RUNS AROUND THE ROOM SHOVING SEVERAL OBJECTS INTO HIS BAG. THESE INCLUDE HIS CAR KEYS, BLEEPER, MOBILE PHONE AND A PACKET OF CIGARETTES FLYNN (CONT'D): I know I'm late. I'm ALWAYS LATE! LAURENCE TRIES TO LEAVE BUT THEN REALISES HE'S FORGOTTEN SOMETHING FLYNN (CONT'D): Pills! LAURENCE, ANGRILY, BEGINS SEARCHING FOR HIS ANTI-STRESS PILLS IN THE CUPBOARDS AROUND HIM ZIGGY ENTERS NERVOUSLY ZIGGY: Laurence. Auntie Emma wants a word with you! FLYNN: (ANGRY) Well can it wait Ziggy? I'm late! ZIGGY: She sounded quite desperate Laurence FLYNN: Well Ziggy you can tell her that although I hate my life it does believe it or not it does save other peoples lives so whatever she has to say to me, it can wait till I get back from work (FINDING HIS PILLS IN THE BREAD BIN) oh. ZIGGY: I wouldn't wait till then Laurence FLYNN: Why not? ZIGGY: Cause she'll have the chainsaw out by then! LAURENCE SIGHS FLYNN: Alright.(BEAT) Alright LAURENCE PACKS HIS PILLS INTO HIS BAG AND BEGINS TO LEAVE THE ROOM FLYNN (CONT'D): It's just one thing after another isn't it LAURENCE EXITS WITH HIS BAG
SCENE 3. INT. NIGHTINGALE PLACE - HALLWAY/ MILLOCK HOUSEHOLD - DAY LAURENCE ENTERS WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS HE IS VERY ANNOYED BUT NERVOUS AT THE SAME TIME FLYNN: Aunite Emma? LAURENCE ROLLS HIS EYES AND SIGHS AND WALKS INTO THE MAIN LIVING AREA OF EMMA'S FLAT FLYNN: Auntie Emma? EMMA: (O.O.V) in here Laurence! LAURENCE SCANS THE ROOM WITH HIS EYES IN ANXIETY
SCENE 4. INT. MILLOCK HOUSEHOLD - BATHROOM - DAY LAURENCE ENTERS AND JUMPS IN TERROR AT WHAT'S IN FRONT OF HIM LAURENCE: (TURNING AROUND AND SHIELDING HIS EYES) Oh god! WE NOW REVEAL THAT WHAT HAS TERRIFIED LAURENCE IS THE SIGHT OF HIS AUNTIE EMMA NAKED IN A BATH EMMA, HOWEVER, IN RAGE, SEEMS PRETTY DETERMINED TO KEEP HIM THERE AND JUST CARRIES ON AS NORMAL EMMA: Now Laurence. Your probably wondering why I'm talking to you from inside this bathtub. One reason could be that I want to show you exactly what happens when a women is given hell by the people around her. Another could be that I want to show you what a women hides for most of her life so at least you will be cured from this undermining curiosity that all of your kind seem to have about our species. I would offer the same service to your friends but LAURENCE GETS MORE NERVOUS EMMA (CONT'D): But I think we can both agree that this is a learning experience so it would be much more appropriate for me to ask you what you think the answer is. (BEAT) So, Laurence darling, which one do you think it is? FLYNN: I'm guessing the former EMMA: Good FLYNN: (TO HIMSELF) Although it's only a guess! EMMA: At least you have intelligence which is rare for your gender. You see Laurence I'm a decent women you know that don't you? FLYNN: (UNCERTAIN) yes? EMMA: (TRYING TO SOUND FRIENDLY) Well then you'll certainly know I'm not perfect! FLYNN: (AWKWARD) yes I do know that EMMA: And like everyone else I have my buttons that if pressed can whisk me away into a pool of darkness that will leave me feeling as vulnerable as a 1950's housewife! (CHANGING HER TONE BACK TO THREATENING) However unlike other people out there I work very hard to make sure nothing or no one attempts to press their tender surfaces! And when someone does making sure there are serious consequences involved! FLYNN: Look I think I know what this is about! EMMA MAKES A FIERCE LAUNCH FROM HER BATH AND TRAP'S LAURENCE IN HER CLOSE SIGHT AGAINST THE WALL HOLDING A PAIR OF NAIL CLIPPERS TO HIS NECK LAURENCE STANDS SHAKING IN TERROR EMMA: YOU MAY KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT LAURENCE BUT DO YOU GET THE MESSAGE! LAURENCE: (TERRIFIED) (PAUSE) (LOOKING AT THE SIGHT OF HIS AUNTIES BARE BOOBS) Yes? EMMA: Good EMMA RETURNS TO HER BATH WHILE FLYNN BREATHS A SIGH OF RELIEF EMMA (CONT'D): The we can leave our conversation at that. LAURENCE NODS WHILST BREATHING ANOTHER SIGH OF RELIEF EMMA: Now! (BEAT) Would you like me to go though all the actions that our likely to trigger the presage of my buttons! : LAURENCE: (IN TERROR) Not while your in the bath Auntie Emma LAURENCE, IN HIS STATE OF HORROR RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM EXITING IN A PANIC
Post by highvoltageziggy on Aug 4, 2007 19:19:27 GMT -5
SCENE 5. INT. A WARD - DAY JUDY CONWAY SITS ON THE WARD DESK EATING CHOCOLATE SISTER HOPE ENTERS ,SEES JUDY AND GETS ANNOYED HOPE: I'm not paying you to sit around and eat chocolate! JUDY: You not paying me at all! HOPE ROLLS HER EYES WITH A "HUMPH" AS SHE REALISES HER MISTAKE HOPE: Don't you have work to do staff? JUDY: Hey I'm just taking a little break that's all! JUDY RISES FROM THE WARD DESK AND GOES ON A SMALL ROUND OF THE BEDS NEAR HER WHICH APPEAR TO BE EMPTY JUDY (CONT'D): There's hardly anything to do anyway. There's hardly anyone here HOPE: What? JUDY: Do we actually have any patients at all? JUDY GOES TO CHECK THE COMPUTER FOR PATIENT BOOKINGS HOPE: I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe they've all come to their senses for some miracle. JUDY: There's no one in the side rooms. We're completely empty! This is a weird change! What's going on? HOPE: As I said. Maybe we're actually getting luck for once. JUDY: Oh I wouldn't bet on it. The last time we were this cleaned out it was because Dr Noble thought it would be funny to add a patients pubic hair same to his cigar and we couldn't get raid of the smell. It's never usually a good a thing. HOPE: Well there's nothing obvious to keep them away JUDY: What do you think it is then? HOPE: Remind me what the date is today staff? JUDY: (LOOKING AT COMPUTER) er Monday 14th September HOPE: Ah! JUDY: What? HOPE: Well then there's a reason for all this staff. Means my deal with sister Fara is finally working! JUDY: What's this? HOPE: Sister Georgina Fara runs one of the medical wards downstairs and every two months when all the vaccines come in she has a clear ward for a day or two. JUDY: Yeah HOPE: Well the main doctor on that ward is also a very good surgeon so every so often when I can I move all our patients to her ward so they can get a chance of being operated on by him. JUDY: (SMILING) Ah! HOPE: I can't do it all the time, but we can drop a few victim numbers while we're there JUDY: That's very clever! NOBLE ENTERS DASHINGLY NOBLE: (SEXY) Morning ladies! JUDY + HOPE: Morning Dr Noble! NOBLE: My god sister you get more beautiful every day! HOPE: (BLUSH) Doctor Noble I'm a married women and you’re a married man! NOBLE: Well you never know. With a face like that I may have to change my mind JUDY AND HOPE GIGGLE MR RON ENTERS WITH HIS GROUP OF MEDICAL STUDENTS HOPE: (QUIETLY TO JUDY) Oh look. The air just got stiffer! MR RON: Morning team! How many patients today sister? HOPE: Actually we're completely clean cut Mr Ron MR RON: What? HOPE: (SMUG) Complete fresh start! JUDY: No patient's today sir! MR RON IS CONFUSED MR RON: (BEAT) right! Well never mind we can still have the ward round! SISTER HOPE ROLLS HER EYES AND JOINS MR RON WITH JUDY AND NOBLE BY THE FIRST BED OF THE ROUND MR RON (CONT'D): (TO A NEARBY MALE MEDICAL STUDENT) You! Be a patient THE MEDICAL STUDENT TRIES TO REPLY BUT WHEN HIS NERVES STOP ANYTHING COMING OUT, HE LIES ON THE HOSPITAL BED PRETENDING TO BE A PATIENT MR RON (CONT'D): Now. What do we have here sister? HOPE: Well this is a medical student you've just thrown onto the bed Mr Ron! MR RON: I know that sister! But what is he doing here HOPE: (EYE ROLL) You tell me! LAURENCE RUSHES IN IN A PANIC AND, IN HIS STATE OF OUT OF BREATH, LEANS ON THE WARD DESK FOR SUPPORT LAURENCE: Sorry! MR RON: Flint! Your late! LAURENCE: I know sir! Everyone does (POINTS TO AUDIENCE) and I think they're getting a bit tired of it now! MR RON: Dr Flint! Why aren't you wearing your uniform? LAURENCE: (LOOKING DOWN AT HIS SHIRT AND TIE) I am sir! MR RON: Where's your white coat? LAURENCE: Oh I've been staying at home sir. It'll be in my locker! MR RON: Well go get it Flint! I will not have my patients getting the wrong idea! HOPE: (ROLLING EYES) I'm sure they wouldn't mind! MR RON: Go now Flint! LAURENCE: Yes sir LAURENCE EXITS MR RON: And no offence but would it kill you to get a hair cut once in a while! (TO WARD ROUND GROUP) now next patient (TO A NEARBY FEMALE STUDENT) You! Pretend you have a prostate tumour! THE STUDENT STANDS CONFUSED AND FRIGHTENED