Post by highvoltageziggy on May 27, 2007 20:00:01 GMT -5
NOBLE ENTERS THE FLAT, LOOKS AROUND AND IS IMPRESSED.
NOBLE (CONT'D):
Wow it is huge!
FLYNN:
I know would you believe it! (QUIETLY TO HIMSELF) it has a catch though!
NOBLE:
What?
FLYNN:
Nothing. Have I got enough alcohol?
NOBLE:
Don't worry about that! (GETS OUT A FULL CASE OF "FOSTERS" BEER) I bought a whole case of beer!
FLYNN:
Oh…. Can I ask why?
NOBLE:
In case you bought the wrong type. (LOOKS AT FLYNN'S BOOZE) ah yeah! See! Graham hates XXXX.
LAURENCE:
(PAUSE) (ROLLS EYES) Noble you don’t have to humiliate me again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again!
NOBLE:
(CUTTING FLYNN OFF) Flynn! Relax! I'm here now.
LAURENCE:
(SARCASM) That makes me feel a lot more relaxed! (ROLLS EYES)
NOBLE:
Just enjoy the party!
FLYNN:
Ok well are you sure this going to work?
NOBLE:
Yes. Now let yourself go! They'll be here in a minute.
NOBLE HEADS THE BATHROOM
FLYNN:
Where are you going?
NOBLE:
To freshen up in your bathroom!
NOBLE EXITS
FLYNN:
(CALLING TO NOBLE) don't touch my shaving foam!
THE DOORBELL RINGS
FLYNN (CONT'D):
Ok (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) I can do this!
FLYNN WALKS TO ANSWER THE DOOR TO FIND DR ADAM SWAIN AND DR RICHARD HICKS BEHIND IT
THEY BOTH ARE SORT OF DISPLEASED TO SEE LAURENCE
RICHARD:
Er hi
ADAM:
(BEAT) is Graham here?
NOBLE ENTERS AGAIN AND GOES ALL "LADDY" WHEN HE SEES THE OTHER TWO MEN
NOBLE:
YEAH!
RICHARD AND ADAM:
YEAH!
RICHARD:
Alright Stephen!
NOBLE:
Where's the victim then?
ADAM:
He'll be here in a minute. He's filling up on cheep booze from Tesco's!
NOBLE:
Hey look. (SHOWS ADAM AND RICHARD A PORN VIDEO TAPE) Sexy woman!
ADAM:
Ah! man I haven’t seen that since college!
DR DAVID WHITEBRIDGE ENTERS WITH 5 OTHER MEN
DAVID:
YEAH!
NOBLE, ADAM AND RICHARD:
YEAH!
ADAM:
Alright Dave!
FLYNN:
(TO HIMSELF) is it me or does the word "Yeah" mean more than I think it does?
NOBLE:
(TO DAVID) Hey did you get the crisps?
DAVID:
(SHOWS SOME LARGE PACKETS OF CRISPS OF DIFFERENT FLAVOURS) look at these.
ADAM:
(TAKING DAVID'S "NUTS" MAGAZINE) hey gimmie that! (LOOKS THROUGH MAG) Ah yeah! Anderson! Anniston! Oh oh oh! Girls Aloud!
ALL (EXCEPT FLYNN):
AH YEAH!
NOBLE:
This is gonna be good!
DR CHRIS DAVENPORT ENTERS WITH 4 OTHER MEN
CHRIS:
HEY!
NOBLE, RICHARD AND DAVID:
YEAH!
RICHARD:
Come join the fun!
FLYNN:
(GETTING CONCERNED ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF MEN IN HIS FLAT) Noble?
NOBLE:
Yes Flynn?
FLYNN:
How many people did you invite?
GASMAN ENTERS
GASMAN:
Hello!
NOBLE:
GASMAN!
GASMAN:
Everything well Dr Noble?
NOBLE:
Oh yes my lord of the sleep smoke! How be you?
GASMAN:
Good thank you Dr Noble.
NOBLE:
Have you found your lucky pen yet?
GASMAN:
No I'm afraid not! But while I was under the floor I did get my legs stuck in some very thinly spaced pipes (SMILES PSYCHOTICALLY) which was just as pleasing!
NOBLE:
(TO ANYONE IN THE ROOM) Hey where's Geoff?
ADAM:
He's downstairs urinating in the hall!
FLYNN:
What!
NOBLE:
Oh really? (GOES OVER TO THE STAIRCASE OUTSIDE THE FLAT AND CALLS DOWN TO GEOFF) OI MATE! COME DO THAT UP HERE!
FLYNN:
NOBLE!
NOBLE:
Relax Flynn!
DR GEOFF KITCHMAN ENTERS WHIST DOING UP HIS FLIES CAUSING ALL THE DOCTORS TO LAUGH AT HIM AND CALL HIM "LIGHTWEIGHT"
GEOFF:
Yeah alright! Alright! Listen I've seen Graham he'll be here in 2 minutes so get ready!
NOBLE:
We'll already for him!
TERRY ENTERS
TERRY:
Hi everyone!
NOBLE:
Terry! You made it!
TERRY:
Yes I know it's not a celebration of my sexuality but a whole load of drunk men in one place! (BEAT) I'm up for it!
GEOFF TAKES A PEEK AROUND THE DOOR
GEOFF:
Alright he's coming!
ALL THE MEN HIDE A FOR A MOMENT
DR GRAHAM LOWESTOFT ENTERS
GRAHAM:
(TO HIMSELF) ok here's number 56
ALL:
(APPEARING FROM HIDING PLACES) YEAH!
FLYNN:
(TO HIMSELF) is this going to go on all night?
NOBLE:
How you doing mate?
GRAHAM:
Ah brilliant. You guys are great mates for doing this!
DAVID:
Nah! Mate you know we weren't gonna let you get away with it! You can't get hitched without saying goodbye to ya freedom!
CHRIS:
Plus we needed a place to drink!
EVERYONE (MINUS LAURENCE) DOES A LOAD LADDISH LAUGH
RICHARD:
Come on then!
CHRIS:
What?
RICHARD:
Lets get this party STARTED!
LOAD CHEER FROM EVERYONE WHO THEN GO TO SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA AND FLOORS NEARBY SMOKING CIGARETTES, CHATTING ETC
RICHARD (CONT'D):
(TO FLYNN) OI YOU!
FLYNN:
What?
RICHARD:
GET SOME BOOZE OVER HERE! WE'RE DYING!
FLYNN:
ok
RICHARD:
AND PUT SOME TUNES ON! THIS PLACE IS DULL!
NOBLE:
(INSERTING THE PORNO VIDEO TAPE INTO LAURENCE'S PLAYER) Lets bring on the WOMEN!
FLYNN:
(TO HIMSELF WITH A SLIGHT EYE ROLL) I don't think I'm gonna like this!
LAURENCE INSERTS A CD INTO HIS PLAYER RESULTING IN THE BEASTIE BOY'S "INTERGALACTIC" TO START PLAYING LOUDLY AROUND THE ROOM.
SCENE 18. INT. A WEST END THEATRE - NIGHT
ITS AT THE INTERVAL OF "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR.
EMMA IS SITTING IN HER CHAIR LOOKING BOARD WHILE ZIGGY DESPERATELY PRETENDS SHE IS ENJOYING HERSELF
ZIGGY:
Isn't this great!
EMMA GIVES ZIGGY THE EVILS
A PASSING STEWARD ENTERS
STEWARD:
(TO EMMA) would you like ice cream madam?
EMMA:
(BEAT) well alright but I'm not paying you much. This is awful!
ZIGGY:
(INNOCENT FAKE LAUGH) er Auntie Emma don't be rude! (TO HERSELF QUIETLY) Oh! He better be naked in that photo! (GETS REALLY NERVOUS and starts praying again) Oh no I didn't mean that! I'm sorry please forgive me lord of faith! (MIMES HOLY CROSS IN A PANIC).
NOBLE (CONT'D):
Wow it is huge!
FLYNN:
I know would you believe it! (QUIETLY TO HIMSELF) it has a catch though!
NOBLE:
What?
FLYNN:
Nothing. Have I got enough alcohol?
NOBLE:
Don't worry about that! (GETS OUT A FULL CASE OF "FOSTERS" BEER) I bought a whole case of beer!
FLYNN:
Oh…. Can I ask why?
NOBLE:
In case you bought the wrong type. (LOOKS AT FLYNN'S BOOZE) ah yeah! See! Graham hates XXXX.
LAURENCE:
(PAUSE) (ROLLS EYES) Noble you don’t have to humiliate me again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again!
NOBLE:
(CUTTING FLYNN OFF) Flynn! Relax! I'm here now.
LAURENCE:
(SARCASM) That makes me feel a lot more relaxed! (ROLLS EYES)
NOBLE:
Just enjoy the party!
FLYNN:
Ok well are you sure this going to work?
NOBLE:
Yes. Now let yourself go! They'll be here in a minute.
NOBLE HEADS THE BATHROOM
FLYNN:
Where are you going?
NOBLE:
To freshen up in your bathroom!
NOBLE EXITS
FLYNN:
(CALLING TO NOBLE) don't touch my shaving foam!
THE DOORBELL RINGS
FLYNN (CONT'D):
Ok (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) I can do this!
FLYNN WALKS TO ANSWER THE DOOR TO FIND DR ADAM SWAIN AND DR RICHARD HICKS BEHIND IT
THEY BOTH ARE SORT OF DISPLEASED TO SEE LAURENCE
RICHARD:
Er hi
ADAM:
(BEAT) is Graham here?
NOBLE ENTERS AGAIN AND GOES ALL "LADDY" WHEN HE SEES THE OTHER TWO MEN
NOBLE:
YEAH!
RICHARD AND ADAM:
YEAH!
RICHARD:
Alright Stephen!
NOBLE:
Where's the victim then?
ADAM:
He'll be here in a minute. He's filling up on cheep booze from Tesco's!
NOBLE:
Hey look. (SHOWS ADAM AND RICHARD A PORN VIDEO TAPE) Sexy woman!
ADAM:
Ah! man I haven’t seen that since college!
DR DAVID WHITEBRIDGE ENTERS WITH 5 OTHER MEN
DAVID:
YEAH!
NOBLE, ADAM AND RICHARD:
YEAH!
ADAM:
Alright Dave!
FLYNN:
(TO HIMSELF) is it me or does the word "Yeah" mean more than I think it does?
NOBLE:
(TO DAVID) Hey did you get the crisps?
DAVID:
(SHOWS SOME LARGE PACKETS OF CRISPS OF DIFFERENT FLAVOURS) look at these.
ADAM:
(TAKING DAVID'S "NUTS" MAGAZINE) hey gimmie that! (LOOKS THROUGH MAG) Ah yeah! Anderson! Anniston! Oh oh oh! Girls Aloud!
ALL (EXCEPT FLYNN):
AH YEAH!
NOBLE:
This is gonna be good!
DR CHRIS DAVENPORT ENTERS WITH 4 OTHER MEN
CHRIS:
HEY!
NOBLE, RICHARD AND DAVID:
YEAH!
RICHARD:
Come join the fun!
FLYNN:
(GETTING CONCERNED ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF MEN IN HIS FLAT) Noble?
NOBLE:
Yes Flynn?
FLYNN:
How many people did you invite?
GASMAN ENTERS
GASMAN:
Hello!
NOBLE:
GASMAN!
GASMAN:
Everything well Dr Noble?
NOBLE:
Oh yes my lord of the sleep smoke! How be you?
GASMAN:
Good thank you Dr Noble.
NOBLE:
Have you found your lucky pen yet?
GASMAN:
No I'm afraid not! But while I was under the floor I did get my legs stuck in some very thinly spaced pipes (SMILES PSYCHOTICALLY) which was just as pleasing!
NOBLE:
(TO ANYONE IN THE ROOM) Hey where's Geoff?
ADAM:
He's downstairs urinating in the hall!
FLYNN:
What!
NOBLE:
Oh really? (GOES OVER TO THE STAIRCASE OUTSIDE THE FLAT AND CALLS DOWN TO GEOFF) OI MATE! COME DO THAT UP HERE!
FLYNN:
NOBLE!
NOBLE:
Relax Flynn!
DR GEOFF KITCHMAN ENTERS WHIST DOING UP HIS FLIES CAUSING ALL THE DOCTORS TO LAUGH AT HIM AND CALL HIM "LIGHTWEIGHT"
GEOFF:
Yeah alright! Alright! Listen I've seen Graham he'll be here in 2 minutes so get ready!
NOBLE:
We'll already for him!
TERRY ENTERS
TERRY:
Hi everyone!
NOBLE:
Terry! You made it!
TERRY:
Yes I know it's not a celebration of my sexuality but a whole load of drunk men in one place! (BEAT) I'm up for it!
GEOFF TAKES A PEEK AROUND THE DOOR
GEOFF:
Alright he's coming!
ALL THE MEN HIDE A FOR A MOMENT
DR GRAHAM LOWESTOFT ENTERS
GRAHAM:
(TO HIMSELF) ok here's number 56
ALL:
(APPEARING FROM HIDING PLACES) YEAH!
FLYNN:
(TO HIMSELF) is this going to go on all night?
NOBLE:
How you doing mate?
GRAHAM:
Ah brilliant. You guys are great mates for doing this!
DAVID:
Nah! Mate you know we weren't gonna let you get away with it! You can't get hitched without saying goodbye to ya freedom!
CHRIS:
Plus we needed a place to drink!
EVERYONE (MINUS LAURENCE) DOES A LOAD LADDISH LAUGH
RICHARD:
Come on then!
CHRIS:
What?
RICHARD:
Lets get this party STARTED!
LOAD CHEER FROM EVERYONE WHO THEN GO TO SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA AND FLOORS NEARBY SMOKING CIGARETTES, CHATTING ETC
RICHARD (CONT'D):
(TO FLYNN) OI YOU!
FLYNN:
What?
RICHARD:
GET SOME BOOZE OVER HERE! WE'RE DYING!
FLYNN:
ok
RICHARD:
AND PUT SOME TUNES ON! THIS PLACE IS DULL!
NOBLE:
(INSERTING THE PORNO VIDEO TAPE INTO LAURENCE'S PLAYER) Lets bring on the WOMEN!
FLYNN:
(TO HIMSELF WITH A SLIGHT EYE ROLL) I don't think I'm gonna like this!
LAURENCE INSERTS A CD INTO HIS PLAYER RESULTING IN THE BEASTIE BOY'S "INTERGALACTIC" TO START PLAYING LOUDLY AROUND THE ROOM.
SCENE 18. INT. A WEST END THEATRE - NIGHT
ITS AT THE INTERVAL OF "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR.
EMMA IS SITTING IN HER CHAIR LOOKING BOARD WHILE ZIGGY DESPERATELY PRETENDS SHE IS ENJOYING HERSELF
ZIGGY:
Isn't this great!
EMMA GIVES ZIGGY THE EVILS
A PASSING STEWARD ENTERS
STEWARD:
(TO EMMA) would you like ice cream madam?
EMMA:
(BEAT) well alright but I'm not paying you much. This is awful!
ZIGGY:
(INNOCENT FAKE LAUGH) er Auntie Emma don't be rude! (TO HERSELF QUIETLY) Oh! He better be naked in that photo! (GETS REALLY NERVOUS and starts praying again) Oh no I didn't mean that! I'm sorry please forgive me lord of faith! (MIMES HOLY CROSS IN A PANIC).