No Ziggy, I'm just envisaging the consequences to what's being planned and discussed in their world. I'm seeing things in my head which are disastrous as well as amusing! Please don't ever think I'm not liking what you write, it's wonderful. ;D
Post by highvoltageziggy on May 10, 2007 18:03:38 GMT -5
You didn't have to wait long!
SISTER HOPE AND JUDY ENTER FROM THE SIDE ROOMS CARRYING NOTES AND TAKE THEIR PLACES ON THE WARD DESK JUDY: What's going on? NOBLE: Flynn's having a party JUDY: Oh really doctor Flynn? NOBLE: He's invited 20 doctors to his brand new flat. FLYNN: (ATTEMPTING TO IMPRESS JUDY) Which might I add is huge and has a lovely double bed! HOPE: Oh! Perfect for your visitors to have private time eh doctor Flynn? FLYNN: (EMBARRASSED) (REALISING HIS FAILURE TO IMPRESS JUDY) Yes… sister NOBLE: He's out to make a new spark sister. (PUTS HIS HAND ON FLYNN'S SHOULDER) This boy may be new but he's certainly making an effort. HOPE: Well I have no doubt that'll happen. I think all of us can a agree that your "one of a kind" Flynn. FLYNN: (FEELING SISTERS SARCASM) Thank you sister JUDY: Can I come? NOBLE: No you can't come Judy. It's a guy's party! FLYNN: I'm hosting Graham's stag night! JUDY AND HOPE BURST OUT LAUGHING JUDY: Good luck! HOPE: Oh my my Doctor Lowestoft! FLYNN BECOMES VERY WORRIED NOBLE: Now now girls he's up for a challenge! HOPE: He better be. You should see that man drunk! JUDY: It must have been only a year ago now HOPE: Oh don't remind me! FLYNN: What was this? HOPE: A year ago we were on night shift and there was some kind of registrars booze up or something in the pub opposite. We went out on our usual rounds to casualty only to find him drunk out of his behind charming up our patients. (BEAT) and when we recite the word "Charming" we refer to him collecting phone numbers, endless chat up and the pulling of innocent people out of wheelchairs in attempt to dance with them. Not only was it rude but just plain dense. JUDY: The best part is when he thought you were a bar maid! All that money he kept shoving down your cleavage! HOPE: Yes it was bad taste but I did (GIVING HER BREASTS A PAT) make a good £100! NOBLE: Yes well Graham is famous for being a hell raiser but that's why we all love him! HOPE: And I only suppose your going to make it worse by getting him wasted Dr Noble? NOBLE: Oh yes. I'm fascinated to see how low he can go. For all I know we might see him burn down a house! JUDY: Oh no he's done that! NOBLE: Even better! That's even more exciting! Well I'm yet to discover what this bloke can do but we can look forward to it when I see what he does when fill his head with muck! Isn't that right Flynn? LAURENCE STANDS STILL WITH THE COMPLETE LOOK OF TERROR ON HIS FACE NOBLE (CONT'D): (TRYING TO GET LAURENCE'S ATTENTION) Flynn? (CLICKS FINGERS) Flynn? FLYNN: (COMING BACK TO EARTH) What? Oh. (COMPLETE CHANGING HIS TONE TO CONFIDENT IN AN ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS JUDY) well yes of course! I mean if a guy's gonna be dangerous, it's gonna be at his stag night! Cause that's what there for you know. Getting drunk and having a good time (LESS CONFIDENT) and breaking things HOPE: If you want my honesty Graham Lowestoft is the human equivalent of a pig on drugs. NOBLE: And what does that mean. JUDY: It means that when he's off his top, he's messy, loud and couldn't care less about it. (BEAT) A lot like you doctor noble! NOBLE: Ah Conway! Watch your mouth! HOPE: She has got a point Stephen! You and Graham do make an "adorable pair". JUDY: Yeah in a Mayal and Edmondson type way FLYNN: (WORRIED) What was this? JUDY: Why don't you tell doctor Flynn about the time you flooded the whole doctor's flats with shaving foam. NOBLE: I don't think he wants to know about that! JUDY: Oh I'm sure he does considering it wasn't even our hospital! NOBLE: Hey it was for a good cause! JUDY: Yes to let all your drunken emotion out before you did anything else I suppose? NOBLE: Precisely! If it wont go in it must come out, that's my philosophy. FLYNN: (UNDER HIS BREATH) yeah that's why women have lost respect for you. NOBLE: Flynn? LAURENCE: Noble can I talk to you for a moment? JUDY: Ohh someone's not impressed with you Dr Noble! NOBLE: Judy this is man stuff. Please excuse us! HOPE: We'll leave you to it. JUDY: You can tell him all about it NOBLE: Yes I will Judy THE TWO NURSES EXIT NOBLE (CONT'D): God they never know when to stop watching over you do they! FLYNN: Noble I'm scared NOBLE: What? Oh Flynn come on what are you scared of? FLYNN: Well… NOBLE: Oh Flynn you idiot! Don't listen to them they're just winding you up! Graham's fine! He knows how to control himself! FLYNN: Do you know how to control yourself? NOBLE: Yes! And you've having this party weather you like or not. FLYNN: And what if I don't? NOBLE: I'll tell the whole hospital that you fancy the pants off me! FLYNN: (BEAT) well I already get that but it's one less thing to worry about. NOBLE: Now we have work to do. NOBLE'S BLEEPER GOES OFF NOBLE (CONT'D): And there's the proof! (LOOKS AT HIS BLEEPER) Ah! A vasectomy! We can take away someone's man hood while you gain some! Now come! To the operating theatre! NOBLE DOES AN EXAGGERATED MARCH OUT OF THE ROOM EXITING LEAVING LAURENCE A BIT CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT TO DO WHILE JUDY AND SISTER HOPE STARE AT HIM WITH A RAISED EYEBROW LAURENCE: (WITH AN INNOCENT LAUGH) I just play along! LAURENCE DOES A MORE NERVOUS VERSION OF NOBLE'S MARCH WHICH TURNS INTO A RUN OUT OF THE WARD EXITING
Post by highvoltageziggy on May 10, 2007 18:15:58 GMT -5
Here's the concluding part of Act two!
SCENE 15. INT. NIGHTINGALE PLACE - FLYNN HOUSEHOLD - MAIN LIVING AREA - DAY LAURENCE IS CHECKING EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER FOR HIS GUESTS FLYNN: Ok room is… (LOOKS AROUND ROOM) tidy. Booze is… (GETS A BEER OUT OF THE COOLER AND TASTES IT) fresh. I am (SNIFFS ARMPITS) decent. Great I think that's everything. THE DOORBELL RINGS FLYNN (CONT'D): Come in ZIGGY FLYNN ENTERS ZIGGY: Hi FLYNN: Hey. ZIGGY: (LOOKS AROUND ROOM) what's all this? FLYNN: Oh didn't I tell you. I'm having a party. ZIGGY: Party? FLYNN: Yeah I'm hosting graham's stag night ZIGGY BECOMES TERRIFIED AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HER STANDING IN FRONT OF IT FOR EXTRA SECURITY ZIGGY: What! FLYNN: Are you ok? ZIGGY: What did you just say? FLYNN: I'm hosting Graham's stag night tonight. ZIGGY: Why? FLYNN: Well why not. Noble suggested it. Have some friends over that's how people socialise these day's apparently ZIGGY: You can't socialise. You’re a Flynn. FLYNN: What? ZIGGY: Laurence. (PAUSE) Why don't we sit down for a minute? LAURENCE AND ZIGGY SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA FLYNN: Are you having a rough day Ziggy? ZIGGY: Laurence. (BEAT) Things have changed since you last lived with us. Because we don't see much of each other we've all gone in (TRIES TO FIND RIGHT WORDS) different directions. And because of that we've had to have restrictions on what we do based on those (PAUSE) different directions FLYNN: Surely one little party won't make a difference. ZIGGY: Please Laurence don't do it! for your own safety! FLYNN: I'm sorry? Look Ziggy if you've got a problem with all this just tell me. ZIGGY: It's not me I'm talking about. FLYNN: Well what then? ZIGGY RAISES HER EYEBROWS FLYNN (CONT'D): Auntie Emma?
ZIGGY NODS HER HEAD FAST IN FEAR LAURENCE GETS UP AND BEGINS TO MAKE HIMSELF A CUP OF COFFEE FLYNN (CONT'D): Look Ziggy. It's one silly bachelor party. It'll be over by tomorrow. If Auntie Emma has a problem with that she can take it out with me! ZIGGY: That's what I'm talking about. Laurence you don't know her as well me. You don't know what she's like FLYNN: Well I can find out in a mature and adult fashion ZIGGY: Please Laurence. You don’t know what she'll do to you. She might even….. FLYNN: What? Ziggy! what? ZIGGY TRIES TO EXPLAIN BUT FAILS FROM HER OWN EMBARRASSMENT ZIGGY: I can’t say it FLYNN: Tell me! Please! ZIGGY: Well you know how Uncle Jack's voice has got a bit higher lately. FLYNN: Yes ZIGGY RAISES HER EYEBROWS LAURENCE IS CONFUSED ZIGGY NODS HER HEAD LAURENCE SHAKES HIS HEAD ZIGGY: (WHISPERING TO LAURENCE) You might wanna put your bible on it at night. LAURENCE IS HORRIFIED LAURENCE: Don't be silly she wouldn't do that ZIGGY: She would. She knows how to do it in the night so you can't feel anything LAURENCE: Well I'm sorry but I refuse to believe that she would do such a thing ZIGGY BEGINS TO SEARCH FOR SOMETHING LAURENCE (CONT'D): I don't know what she's been telling you but in my opinion it is wrong for her to fill you up with such vulgar ideas as… ZIGGY SHOWS A JAR THAT CONTAINS HER UNCLE JACK'S PENIS IN SOME WATER LAURENCE (CONT'D): HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT! LAURENCE FAINTS IN SHOCK ZIGGY RUNS UP TO HIM CALLING HIS NAME TRYING TO WAKE HIM AGAIN IN A PANIC
Post by highvoltageziggy on May 12, 2007 11:18:38 GMT -5
Here is act three!
SCENE 1. INT. SOUTH MIDDLESEX HOSPITAL - A AND E CUBICAL - DAY FLYNN LIES IN A BED UNCONSCIOUS A WORRIED ZIGGY SITS BESIDE HIM HE SLOWLY WAKES UP WITH A GROAN ZIGGY: Hey how you feeling? FLYNN: (GROAN WITH SIGH) was that real? ZIGGY: Yes Laurence FLYNN: (SIGH) I'm gonna be sick ZIGGY: Yes do before I do. (HAND'S LAURENCE A BUCKET) I saw the whole thing LAURENCE VOMITS INTO THE BUCKET LAURENCE: Really ZIGGY (CONT'D): Yes it wasn't nice LAURENCE: I can imagine ZIGGY: Well I didn't actually see it. I heard it from the upstairs flat. You could picture it from the sounds though. FLYNN: really ZIGGY: Oh yeah. The violent bashing on the table as he attempted to break free of the chains. The sloshing sounds of the cutting of the flesh, the huge scream he let out as his voice slid up two octaves! (PAUSE) LAURENCE VOMITS AGAIN ZIGGY (CONT'D): It was quite spectacular! (BEAT) Followed by a loud squish on the floor as it flue across the room! FLYNN: Is their any other food you want me to dispose of while I am here. NOBLE ENTERS AND ZIGGY BLUSHES AT THE SIGHT OF HIM NOBLE: Ah! You're awake. FLYNN: yes ZIGGY: Hello NOBLE: Why hello there sister. Are you and the rest of the choir of angels on the wards today ZIGGY: (WIDE EYED) oh no not today. Would you like us to be? FLYNN: Yeah yeah I'm in pain here. NOBLE: How are you feeling? FLYNN: Terrible NOBLE: How did this happen? ZIGGY: Oh we'd rather not talk about it. Let's just say he's seen enough FLYNN: (TO NOBLE) this is my sister Ziggy NOBLE: Ah! Of course! (SHAKES HANDS WITH ZIGGY) Your brothers told me all about you! ZIGGY: Oh really? NOBLE: Yes. (QUIETLY TO FLYNN) tell me is she the boring one or the psycho one? ZIGGY: What? LAURENCE TRIES TO FAKE A BIG INNOCENT LAUGH TO COVER UP NOBLE'S WORDS FLYNN: (PUTS ARM AROUND ZIGGY) Noble. That's not very nice? (TO ZIGGY) Ignore him Ziggy he's always very mean to everyone (WHISPER) and I think he's on crack ZIGGY: (TO NOBLE) it's nice to meet you NOBLE: You too ZIGGY: (TO LAURENCE) Tell me Laurence. Is this the cynical smoky sadist in a white coat you've been telling me about? ANOTHER FAKE LAUGH FROM FLYNN FLYNN: Ziggy! You and your tasteless jokes. Have you had a hard day at the convent today Ziggy? ZIGGY: No I wasn't there today. Hence why I am here right now being it only 2 pm FLYNN: Well perhaps you should go back. You're getting a smutty again. Ignore her Nobes she's mad. NOBLE: Oh so she's the psycho one then FLYNN: (GOES INTO PANIC MODE) NO! (TRIES TO CALM DOWN WITH ANOTHER FAKE LAUGH) Noble we're you going to tell us something. NOBLE: Oh yes. Well there doesn't seem to be much damage to your head but it does worry me that you've been unconscious for so many hours ZIGGY: It worries me too doctor FLYNN: Don't worry Noble. My head has built up a resistance to falls from all times I've banged into doors. See FLYNN WHACKS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD ONLY TO FAINT AFTERWARDS FLYNN (CONT'D): (RISING UP AGAIN) ah! See I'm back again.(FEELING A SUDDEN RUSH OF PAIN TO THE HEAD) Ow that really hurt! ZIGGY: Are you sure you've built up an immunity or is that you've lost so many brain cells your minds forgotten how to react to pain! SISTER HOPE ENTERS HOPE: Doctor noble can I have a word? NOBLE: Yeah sure. (TO FLYNN) please excuse me for minute HOPE: Sorry it's just about a patient NOBLE: No that's fine HOPE: (TO LAURENCE) Oh another stairway slip Flynn? LAURENCE: No I just had that’s all thank you sister! HOPE: You do have quite a lot of them. Sometimes I feel we should put mats on all over the floors just for you! FLYNN: That wont be necessary NOBLE AND SISTER HOPE EXIT ZIGGY: Laurence.(BEAT) Your not very popular here are you? FLYNN: (BEAT) no.
Post by highvoltageziggy on May 16, 2007 14:51:58 GMT -5
Before I post the next chapter, let me explain about "The different Variations of Flynn" (I.e. Girly Flynn, Sexy Flynn etc).
These episodes are designed for stage meaning they don't follow a standard "sitcom" format as I like to use ideas from other "theatrical genres like Absurdist and Epic Theatre". In this case "The different Variations of Flynn" are a group of actors (who look similar to Reece Shearsmith) who act in a way that represents the different sides of Laurence's personality (i.e. sexy side, "feminine" side etc). Only Laurence himself can see them but they pop up on stage when ever he tries to do some thinking. Only to make matters worse by bickering with each other hehe!
Lets see them in action!
ZIGGY: Are you still gonna have this party? FLYNN: Of course ZIGGY: What! Even after all this? Laurence it's not safe! FLYNN: I know but everyone will hate me if I don't! ZIGGY: Doesn't everyone hate you already? FLYNN: That's not the point! ZIGGY: Well it's your manhood. FLYNN: Can I have some time to think? ZIGGY: I'll be right back ZIGGY EXITS FLYNN: ARGH! This impossible. What is wrong with this stupid world! What am I gonna do. (BEAT) Ugh! (HOLDING HIS HEAD) Think Laurence! Think! SILLY FLYNN: Oh no! Look what you've done now? How you gonna get out of this one eh? Eh? Eh? What you gonna do next eh? Eh? Gonna bang into a door? Eh? Gonna inject someone's fake leg? Eh? Eh? DO SOMETHING FUNNY! FLYNN: What are you on about? FREAKY FLYNN: Ignore him. He's feeling a bit corny today. Now mate you know you're making a big fuss for nothing. FLYNN: Really? FREAKY FLYNN: Yeah. If your auntie Emma's bothering you? Why don't you just kill her! Always works for me! GIRLY FLYNN: Ignore him! He's just being silly! SILLY FLYNN: Oh no! I'm the silly one. See watch SILLY FLYNN WHACKS HIMSELF WITH A FRYING PAN SILLY FLYNN: (FREAKY HIGH PITCHED LAUGH) I'm so funny! LOVEY DOVEY FLYNN: Mate this whole thing is a waste of your time! FLYNN: Why? LOVEY DOVEY FLYNN: Cause really! Do you think that inviting a huge group of men to your flat is a good way to impress your Judy? FLYNN: Er…. Judy's not gonna be there LOVEY DOVEY FLYNN: Oh well it's not a good way to impress any other women you might like is it? FLYNN: No there's no women there. LOVEY DOVEY FLYNN: What? FLYNN: It's a stag night. All male company LOVEY DOVEY FLYNN: Oh. (PAUSE) Wanna go gay? FLYNN: What! LOVEY DOVEY FLYNN: Come on mate! Gimmie something to do I need some action here! I'm sorry mate but it's like trying to give life to a stone. Come on get in there! Please! My life's so boring I'll turn into stone soon! SEXY FLYNN: Ah stop whimpering! Your life isn't half as bad as mine! Believe me. There's less going on in my life than that of a plastic cup! FLYNN: Who are you? SEXY FLYNN: I'm your sex life! GIRLY FLYNN: Don't listen to any of them. They're all being very stupid. SILLY FLYNN: No no! I'm the silly one! See (WHACKS HIMSELF) See! (WHACKS HIMSELF AGAIN) SEXY FLYNN: Why are you doing that? SILLY FLYNN: Well I have to keep myself occupied if he's not gonna do anything don't I? GIRLY FLYNN: Now come on we haven't even got to me yet! SILLY FLYNN: Yeah well what would you know anyway! FREAKY FLYNN: Yeah! You’re a woman! GIRLY FLYNN: I happen to know an awful lot thank you! FREAKY FLYNN: Why! He's not a woman! GIRLY FLYNN: He will be if he messes up this party! Now come on all you need to do is calm down for a minute. FLYNN: Oh? GIRLY FLYNN: Yeah. Now let's look at this logically. Do you honestly think that inviting a whole load of drunken gentlemen to your home is a good way to make friends? FLYNN: Well. Why not? GIRLY FLYNN: Well think of your reputation. Think of the women involved FREAKY FLYNN: Oh here she goes again! Bringing in her feminist views on everything. GIRLY FLYNN: I'm just saying. SEXY FLYNN: Your not that useful yourself mate. Always telling him to strange things. As if he's not weird enough already! FLYNN: Hey! FREAKY FLYNN: You can talk! You just sit around doing nothing! SEXY FLYNN: That's not my fault! THE DIFFERENT VARIATIONS OF FLYNN START CHILDISHLY ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER UNTIL THE REAL FLYNN FINALLY STOPS THEM FLYNN: PLEASE! STOP IT! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! (PAUSE) FLYNN (CONT'D): LOOK YOUR NOT HELPING ME. SO IF YOUR GONNA BEHAVE LIKE BASTARDS THEN CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! (PAUSE) LOVEY DOVEY FLYNN: As you wish. SILLY FLYNN: We're only here to help! GIRLY FLYNN: But it’s ok if you don't need us. (BEAT) we'll just go. Come on everyone lets go to a strip club FREAKY FLYNN: You're on your own now mate. THE DIFFERENT VARIATIONS OF FLYNN EXIT FLYNN: (TRYING TO STOP THEM) Oh no! Please! ARGH! (PAUSE) (PUTS HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS) God I'm such a mess! (PAUSE) No. Wait (BEAT) I can do this! (BEAT) who cares if my aunties a psycho. (BEAT) yeah! (BEAT) Gotta stop being afraid of everything. (BEAT) gotta be a man! ZIGGY ENTERS AGAIN ZIGGY: Everything ok? FLYNN: Yes thank you Ziggy! ZIGGY: So are you still gonna have this party? FLYNN: Yes I am! ZIGGY: (WHIMPERING) You’re a brave man Laurence! FLYNN: Yes I am. I'm having this stag night and it's gonna be the best bloody stag night any man's ever been too. Cause I'm a man! ZIGGY: Are you sure? FLYNN: Yes I am! And it'll fun! I will enjoy myself! Even if it means I will get completely pissed like Noble! And if Auntie Emma has a problem with that she can stick it up her arse because I don't care! ZIGGY: Well ok! FLYNN: Yes! (PAUSE) Just as long as Auntie Emma is out of the house! ZIGGY: Aw Laurence! FLYNN: No come on Ziggy! You know you wanna! ZIGGY: No Laurence! FLYNN: Come on! Just take her to the virgina monologues she'll love that! ZIGGY: Laurence this has nothing to do with me! FLYNN: Come on Ziggy! Please this is my last chance to make friends. Please! ZIGGY: (beat) (ROLLING HER EYES AND SIGHING) What do I have to do? FLYNN: Just keep her out of the building for a while? ZIGGY: For how long? FLYNN: A month? ZIGGY: What do you suggest I do to keep her out of the house? FLYNN: Go see a play. I can get you member's discount at the National. Go see a Brecht play they last forever! ZIGGY: Laurence I am not gonna spend my evening which could be used to do some well planned praying in a hot, steep seated theatre with a women who gets so drunk she'd think the stewards where the actors. FLYNN: Perhaps they are. They're the ones charging the most money for the ice cream. ZIGGY: Hmm. (BEAT) Although having said that there are a few things in the west end I'd like to see. Joseph and the amazing dreamcoat FLYNN: Yes. Well there you go. A night out. (BEAT) Or you could just give her some LSD and she can watch it for half the price. ZIGGY GIVES LAURENCE THE EVILS FLYNN (CONT'D): Come on at least make an effort ZIGGY: Laurence. You know how I feel about the content of those plays. FLYNN: Exactly so you should be out there checking how bad they are. They've ruined TV but theatre is still yet to be murdered. Why don't you do the honours? ZIGGY GIVES LAURENCE BIGGER EVILS ZIGGY: Oh alright but you owe me! And I mean it! LAURENCE BECOMES OVERWHELMED WITH JOY AND HUGS ZIGGY'S LEGS IN THE PROCESS FLYNN: Oh thank you! Thank you so much! ZIGGY: It's god you should be thanking FLYNN: (PUTS HANDS IN PRAYING POSITION) Thank you god! You love me after all! (TO ZIGGY) What are you going to take her to see? ZIGGY: Jesus Christ superstar FLYNN: Again Ziggy. LSD is very cheap these days ZIGGY: I wont take her if you keep insulting me FLYNN: Fine! Fine! You see what you like. Be as sugar coated as you want. ZIGGY: Whatever.(BEAT) So how are you going to repay me? FLYNN BRINGS ZIGGY CLOSER TO HIM FLYNN: Would you like a picture of Dr Noble to hang up in your room in the convent? ZIGGY LOOKS AT LAURENCE WITH CONCERN ZIGGY: Laurence to protect your decency from the Lord, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. NOBLE ENTERS AND ZIGGY BLUSHES NOBLE: Sorry I don't mean to interrupt but I do have other patients to see and I would really like to take a look at your brother's head ZIGGY: Yes that's fine. I'm very sorry. Laurence just needed to talk for a minute. I must get back anyway. I'll leave you to it. Have a nice stag night. (QUIETLY TO LAURENCE) Your just spoiling me now. ZIGGY EXITS LEAVING NOBLE CONFUSED AND FLYNN LOOKING SMART WITH HIS EYEBROWS RAISED.
Post by highvoltageziggy on May 22, 2007 15:12:48 GMT -5
Let the party begin!
SCENE 1. INT. NIGHTINGALE PLACE - FLYNN HOUSEHOLD/EXT.NIGHTINGALE PLACE- NIGHT LAURENCE RETURNS TO CHECKING EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER FOR HIS GUESTS. FLYNN: Ok room is… (LOOKS AROUND ROOM) tidy. Booze is… (GETS A BEER OUT OF THE COOLER AND TASTES IT) fresh. I am (SNIFFS ARMPITS) basically decent. Great. Everything is as I left it. Good LAURENCE BEGINS TO FEEL PROUD OF HIMSELF UNTIL HE SEES THE JAR WITH HIS UNCLES PENIS IN STILL PLACED ON A TABLE HE SHUTS HIS EYES TIGHT IN HIS DISGUST FLYNN (CONT'D): Oh no. FLYNN STILL IN HIS DISGUSTING TRANCE ATTEMPTS TO CARRY THE JAR UP TO THE BIN WHERE HE DESPERATELY EMPTIES IT AND SHOVES THE JAR IN THE SINK WITH A SIGH OF RELIEF HE STANDS NERVOUSLY BEFORE TAKING THE PENIS OF BIN AND RUSHING IT TO THE BATHROOM WITH A CRY OF DISGUST RUSHING INTO THE BATHROOM HE THROWS THE PENIS INTO THE TOILET AND FLUSHES IT WITH ANOTHER SIGH OF RELIEF. HOWEVER LOOKING IN THE TOILET HE FINDS THAT THE PENIS IS STILL FLOATING ABOUT IN THE WATER IN HIS DESPERATION HE TRIES FLUSHING SEVERAL TIMES TO GET IT TO GO DOWN GETTING EVEN MORE INTENSE AS HE DOES SO BEFORE FINALLY BREAKING DOWN FLYNN: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! LAURENCE LETS OUT ANOTHER CRY AND TAKES THE PENIS OUT OF THE TOILET. HE RUSHES IT INTO THE BALCONY AREA AND CHUCKS IT OUT INTO THE OPEN AIR THINKING HE'S FINALLY WON HE COLLAPSES ON THE SOFA THE DOORBELL RINGS LAURENCE ANSWERS IT TO FIND A MAN WITH HIS UNCLES PENIS STUCK TO HIS SHOULDER LOOK VERY ANGRY FLYNN (CONT'D): Oh… er THE MAN INDICATES THE PENIS ON HIS SHOULDER BY MOVING HIS HEAD FLYNN (CONT'D): How did you know it's from here? THE MAN INDICATES A LABEL STUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE PENIS WHICH MARKS "PROPERTY OF EMMA MILLOCK" FLYNN (CONT'D): Oh. I'm very sorry. THE MAN EXITS TUTTING AS HE DOES SO FLYNN (CONT'D): (CALLING TO THE MAN) Just to let you know it's not mine! FLYNN IS LEFT WITH THE DRIPPING PENIS IN HIS HAND WHICH CAUSE TO RUN AROUND IN A PANIC AGAIN FINALLY HE HEADS OUTSIDE AND SHOVES THE PENIS IN THE MAIN TRASH CAN AND RUNS BACK INTO THE FLAT AS FAST AS HE CAN HAVING FINALLY WON HE LETS OUT A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF WHILST LEANING ON THE COUNTER HOWEVER HE SOON BECOMES OVERWROUGHT WITH DISGUST IN THE FORM OF VOMITING FLYNN (CONT'D): (WITH MOUTHFUL) oh god FLYNN RUNS INTO THE BATHROOM AND VOMITS INTO THE TOILET FOR WHILE THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE FRONT DOOR NOBLE: (O.O.V) Flynn? FLYNN: (CALLING TO NOBLE) Hang on. I'll be… FLYNN VOMITS SOME MORE ANOTHER KNOCK NOBLE: (O.O.V) Flynn? LAURENCE: I'll be there in a minute! LAURENCE STOPS AND REALISES THE MUCK ON HIS HANDS LAURENCE (CONT'D): Oh god! LAURENCE STRESSFULLY WASHES HIS HANDS IN THE BASIN BEFORE RUNNING INTO THE MAIN AREA TO ANSWER THE DOOR ANOTHER KNOCK LAURENCE (CONT'D): YEAH ALRIGHT! LAURENCE OPENS THE DOOR TO FIND NOBLE STANDING WITH A CASE OF BEER. NOBLE: hi LAURENCE: (TRYING TO HIDE HIS NEUROSIS UNDER A FAKE SMILE) hello! LAURENCE, IN HIS SENSE OF HORROR, STARTS ENDLESSLY LOOKING AROUND AT THE CORRIDOR LEAVING NOBLE VERY CONFUSED. NOBLE: You alright? LAURENCE: Yeah fine. How be you? NOBLE: (PAUSE) your moving your head a lot! LAURENCE: Er I'm not particularly fond at my ability to see at the moment! NOBLE: (PAUSE) ok.