Black Books

[Jess]

OMG where has this wonderment been all my life?! Earlier this week I watched series' 1 & 2 with my comedy connoisseur b/f, for he is scarily similar to Bernard and they're his DVD's, and it is fantasmagorical!!! And I can now read quotes from that website! Huzzah!


Bernard: Alrighty. What did you order?
Manny: Lager.
Bernard: I got you... crème de menthe. Ok, here it is - I like you a lot, Gerald... Samantha...
Manny: Manny...
Bernard: Manny. That's the one. I like you a lot.
Manny: Oh thanks very much, you're not so bad yourself (pats Bernard on the arm)
Bernard: Don't touch my arm. And uhh... where have you gone?
Manny: I'm here. You're looking at me.
Bernard: Oh right. Yeah. So... what do you want?
Manny: You mentioned something about a job.
Bernard: What would I have to do?
Manny: No, uh, in the bookshop.
Bernard: But I already work in a bookshop! Do you have anything... in an aquarium?
Manny: Er, no... for me.
Bernard: Oh yeah, right, of course. Sorry sorry sorry sorry. Of course. Right. (to an old woman walking past the table) You leaving, Manny?
Manny: No that's the old woman.
Bernard: Bernard Black. (Offers his hand)
Manny: Manny. (They shake hands)
Bernard: So. What do you want?
Manny: You mentioned a job.
Bernard: What would I have to do?
Manny: For me.
Bernard: Oh yes yes yes of course. Very simple, very simple. Here we go. Do you want a job?
Manny: Great, yes.
Bernard: What's great? What? What?


Bernard: What time is it?!
Manny: Half-ten.
Bernard: Half-ten?! Half-ten?! I've never been up at half-ten! What happens?


Fran: And so what? So they blanked you.
Bernard: So what?! So what?! They blanked me! That's like an awesomely powerful thing to do in civilised society! It's like, it's like, it's like when the Mafia send each other fish through the post.


Manny: Bernard, this Therm-Away jacket you bought me doesn't seem to be working. I feel quite warm.
Bernard: Trust me. It's what the astronauts use to keep cool.
Manny: Is space hot?
Bernard: Hah, of course it is. Where else do you think we get pineapples from?


btw, anyone seen 'Monster'...Dylan Moran live? It's absofreakinlutely brilliant and watchage of it is encouraged!!!

[Sailor Earth]

Ooo no I haven't, LOL! I really need to see "Shaun of the Dead" and "The Actors" as well, coz he's in those movies

"The power of the blank"


Bernard: What do they want from me? Why can't they leave me alone? I mean, what do they want from me?!
Manny: Well they want to buy books.
Bernard: Yeah but why me?! Why do they come to me?!
Manny: Because you sell books.
Bernard: Yeah, I know...

Bernard: What?!
Customer: I'd like to buy a book.
Bernard: Here's one.
Customer: No, I was...
Bernard: This one's very good!
Customer: Oh, oh is it?
Bernard: Yes. You'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life. £5.99.
Customer: Alright. Oh, my change?
Bernard: Ugh, can you come back later?
Customer: Well no, I'm not coming back this way.
Bernard: Where do you live?
Customer: 17 Galexie Gardens.
Bernard: Ok now go there, and await my instructions.


Manny: (holding shiatsu massage machine to his chest) Bernard! Look! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

[melihobbit]

Jess said:

btw, anyone seen 'Monster'...Dylan Moran live? It's absofreakinlutely brilliant and watchage of it is encouraged!!!

*adds to list of things to buy* ;D

Fran: Ok, if I told you that the walls of my flat were actually moving in, would you think that I was strange?
Bernard: No, I'd ask you to come round and look after my small children.
Fran: If you don't believe me you can come round tonight and we'll watch the wall.
Manny: Don't be ridiculous, we'll be staying in, watching the thermometer, won't we Bernard? Won't we?
Bernard: I don't know, it's an impossible choice. Walls, thermometers... I'll just have to hope when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.

lol, just had to add that one 'cos I watched it last night and it's one of my favourite episodes!

[Sailor Earth]

LOL ;D

Bernard (outtake):

Cows in the morning
Cows in the morning
One two three
Up and at them
Up and at them
With a pick

[Jess]

LOL the outtakes are great...especially the ones where he's singing all those random songs to the little kid. And the bit on the DVD with them as dolls! So funny ;D

[Sailor Earth]

LOL oh yeah, that was weird, hehe!

I still haven't seen the third series, aiee. We didn't bother getting the Region 4 version because there aren't any special features on it...

[faeriefolk]

i have yet to see Blacks season 3 grrr they don't even have Black books seasons 1-2 on region 1 dvd so i bought region 2 in england and my friend made a regionless copy for me to watch

[faeriefolk]

ooooo i'm gonna post my icons for Black books too





and some Dylan Moran icons:





hee hee

[Sailor Earth]

Ooo very cool

[Jess]

Oooo those are wonderful!!! ;D

I'm gonna do copies of series 1, 2 & 3 cos I need them. Series 3 has an episode called 'Moo-Ma and Moo-Pa' which is really, reeeeally funny where Manny's parents come over to visit

[faeriefolk]

thanks ;D

*sigh* 3rd season the only one i've never seen

[Sailor Earth]

Yeah I have yet to see series 3 as well, unfortunately...

[melihobbit]

I love those avvies faeriefolk! They're brilliant!

For Australians, series 3 is starting on ABC this week! W00t!

;D ;D

[Sailor Earth]

Yace ;D I know, that's so cool Now I just have to get good reception for ABC on my TV so I can watch it in my room (my dad somehow gains control of the main TV every night, aiee!)

[melihobbit]

LOL my reception sucks too, lucky I have another good working tv and spare tape

Simon Pegg is in it as well! Sweet ;D