Post by cazsmash on Nov 29, 2005 4:31:36 GMT -5
Quotes! Cos i love him. And i've just discovered there's a Futurama board 
Onward.........
!You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Cham-paggin?
Leela: I didn't realize you were such a "coin-asseur."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Well, I have studied abroad... or two.
"Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!"
Captain Zapp Brannigan: If it is alien, we must destroy it.
Kif Kroker: Umm, not me sir...
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have to.
"But as a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors.
[Suddenly thoughtful]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.
"Here's to us poor schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy female man."
Kif Kroker: That new recruit is phenomenal, sir.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes. He edged out my old mark by two seconds...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 16 minutes...
[Kif rolls his eyes]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 12 hours...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... I do plan to finish someday, Kif.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
[pause]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm asking you a question.
[Kif groans]
"In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Do you understand the charges?
Kif Kroker: One beep for yes, two beeps for no.
[Fry beeps once]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes, so noted. Do you plead guilty?
[Fry beeps twice]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Double yes. Guilty.
"That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing."
And now the BEST one ever (to me, at least)
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
[Kif groans]
Onward.........
!You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Cham-paggin?
Leela: I didn't realize you were such a "coin-asseur."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Well, I have studied abroad... or two.
"Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!"
Captain Zapp Brannigan: If it is alien, we must destroy it.
Kif Kroker: Umm, not me sir...
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have to.
"But as a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors.
[Suddenly thoughtful]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.
"Here's to us poor schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy female man."
Kif Kroker: That new recruit is phenomenal, sir.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes. He edged out my old mark by two seconds...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 16 minutes...
[Kif rolls his eyes]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 12 hours...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... I do plan to finish someday, Kif.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
[pause]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm asking you a question.
[Kif groans]
"In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Do you understand the charges?
Kif Kroker: One beep for yes, two beeps for no.
[Fry beeps once]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes, so noted. Do you plead guilty?
[Fry beeps twice]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Double yes. Guilty.
"That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing."
And now the BEST one ever (to me, at least
)"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
[Kif groans]
Ooh I love Zapp, he's classic 
That "Champaggin" quote always makes me laugh 
