Post by faeriefolk on May 23, 2005 20:50:03 GMT -5
Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.) I woke several hours later in a daze."
Post by Sailor Earth on May 23, 2005 21:19:17 GMT -5
Lois (looking at a used car Peter wants): Peter, this car has dents in it, and it's got a cardboard steering wheel. Peter: Just a second honey. Lois: And look, there's no engine! It just has a drawing of an engine! Car salesman: But it only had one previous owner....James Bond! Peter: I'll take it!
Post by Sailor Earth on Jan 12, 2006 23:09:11 GMT -5
Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch
That's a classic
I love this one as well:
(Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket) Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that. Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.
Aaah Stewie gets some of the best lines And Quagmire just cracks me up...
Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute. Quagmire: Fifty bucks. Auctioner: She had nine STDs. Quagmire: Forty-five bucks. Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself. Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you? Connie: 16. Quagmire: 18? You're first. Connie: Mom! Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!
Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be? Quagmire: Taylor Hanson. Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy. Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire." Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire. Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. [Pause] Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.
Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did giggittygiggiydoo that girl. I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quagmire: "Hey there little lady. Why don't you turn around and show me your Lower East Side." Woman (man voice) : "Sure." Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off! Wait a minute...pre-op or post-op?" Woman: "Pre-op." Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off!"
Aaw man... classicness... <Ollie voice> There are far too many of them!
Post by Sailor Earth on Jan 16, 2006 6:48:07 GMT -5
I'm watching the episode these are from at the moment
Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard. Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk? Peter: I drift in and out.
Police Officer: Hey. That's Against the law. You're coming with me. Peter: (singing to the tune of U Can't Touch this) Ah ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me Can't Touch me Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2 I've got diplomatic Immunity so Hammer, you can't sue I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat Can't touch me Can't touch me Adam West: What in God's name is he doing? Peter: Can't touch me. Cleveland: I believe that's the worm. Peter: (still singing) Can't touch me STOP, Peter time I'm a big shot, there's no doubt light a fire then pee it out Don't like it, kiss my rump Just for a minute, let's all do the bump Can't touch me Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump Can't touch me I'm Presidential Peter Interns think I'm hot Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot I've been around the world from Hartford to Back Bay It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way Can't touch me.
Post by Sailor Earth on Mar 19, 2006 0:43:17 GMT -5
Lois: Oh, what about this, Meg? A pink baby-tee that says "Little Slut." That seems pretty hip. Meg: I don't know if that's really me, Mom. Lois: Well, they've got one that says "Porn Star" and another that says "Sperm Dumpster." And they're all written in glitter. Meg: All right, all right. Give me "Sperm Dumpster." Lois: That's the spirit!
LOL! Right - found the quote, now to find the episode it's from