Post by cazsmash on Nov 29, 2005 4:31:36 GMT -5
Quotes! Cos i love him. And i've just discovered there's a Futurama board
Onward.........
!You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Cham-paggin?
Leela: I didn't realize you were such a "coin-asseur."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Well, I have studied abroad... or two.
"Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!"
Captain Zapp Brannigan: If it is alien, we must destroy it.
Kif Kroker: Umm, not me sir...
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have to.
"But as a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors.
[Suddenly thoughtful]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.
"Here's to us poor schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy female man."
Kif Kroker: That new recruit is phenomenal, sir.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes. He edged out my old mark by two seconds...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 16 minutes...
[Kif rolls his eyes]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 12 hours...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... I do plan to finish someday, Kif.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
[pause]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm asking you a question.
[Kif groans]
"In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Do you understand the charges?
Kif Kroker: One beep for yes, two beeps for no.
[Fry beeps once]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes, so noted. Do you plead guilty?
[Fry beeps twice]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Double yes. Guilty.
"That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing."
And now the BEST one ever (to me, at least )
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
[Kif groans]
Onward.........
!You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Cham-paggin?
Leela: I didn't realize you were such a "coin-asseur."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Well, I have studied abroad... or two.
"Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!"
Captain Zapp Brannigan: If it is alien, we must destroy it.
Kif Kroker: Umm, not me sir...
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have to.
"But as a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors.
[Suddenly thoughtful]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.
"Here's to us poor schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy female man."
Kif Kroker: That new recruit is phenomenal, sir.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes. He edged out my old mark by two seconds...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 16 minutes...
[Kif rolls his eyes]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 12 hours...
[Kif stares at him]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... I do plan to finish someday, Kif.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
[pause]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm asking you a question.
[Kif groans]
"In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces."
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Do you understand the charges?
Kif Kroker: One beep for yes, two beeps for no.
[Fry beeps once]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes, so noted. Do you plead guilty?
[Fry beeps twice]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Double yes. Guilty.
"That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing."
And now the BEST one ever (to me, at least )
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
[Kif groans]