Here's the next chapter and the concluding part of Act One of the episode!
Please note that some random names here (such as Betsy or Lindsey) represent doctors in the mess. there is a little group of them that re-appear in the series so i've given them all names!
enjoy
SCENE 9. INT. MESS - DAY
DR BETSY CULL AND DR JESSICA RUBINDI ENTER AND SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA
BETSY:
Why hello there!
JESSICA:
Good morning! How be you at this fine hour?
BETSY:
I be good thank you.
JESSICA:
Would you like some coffee?
BETSY:
That would be marvellous thank you very much.
JESSICA MAKES BETSY A CUP OF COFFEE AS WELL AS ONE FOR HERSELF
THE TWO LADIES SIT ON THE SOFA TOGETHER
(PAUSE)
BETSY:
Do you know what's very funny?
JESSICA:
What?
BETSY:
A man banging into a door!
THE TWO GIRLS BURST OUT LAUGHING
JESSICA:
Yes yes. That one never gets old!(BEAT) You know what's even funnier?
BETSY:
What?
JESSICA:
A man pretending to be a door.
ANOTHER RUSH OF LAUGHTER
BETSY:
Oh yes. That one certainly never gets old! (BEAT) But do you know what's even funnier?
JESSICA:
What?
BETSY:
A man pretending to be a door, and bashing into himself!
HUGE ROW OF LAUGHTER
BETSY (CONT'D):
Oh dear. We're a bit sad aren’t we?
JESSICA:
Yes. Is their something in this coffee?
BETSY:
Well I don't know about you but I seem to detect the slightest spot of crack.
JESSICA:
(LICKS HER LIP) yes me too
NOBLE ENTERS WITH LAURENCE
NOBLE:
Morning ladies. How be you this fine morning?
JESSICA:
Good thank you
BETSY:
We've just discovered we're on crack! (BEAT) How about you?
NOBLE:
(SLIGHTLY CONCERNED) Oh we're good thank you. (CHANGES TONE) Everything set for graham's shock?
BETSY:
Yes everything's set we're just waiting for everyone else.
THE REST OF THE DOCTORS ENTER
DAVID:
He's coming!
NOBLE:
Ok everyone places! Quickly!
ALL THE DOCTORS START HIDING IN DIFFERENT AREAS OF THE ROOM
FLYNN:
What's going on?
NOBLE:
(PULLING FLYNN INTO HIS HIDING PLACE) Get down Flynn!
DR GRAHAM LOWESTOFT ENTERS CAUSING ALL THE DOCTORS TO SHOUT OUT SURPRISE COMING OUT OF THEIR HIDING PLACES
FLYNN STANDS UP AFTER THEM AND JUST SILENTLY SMILES WHILE EVERYONE ELSE GOES INTO PARTY MODE.
NOBLE:
Graham!
GRAHAM:
Aw you shouldn't have!
NOBLE:
Yes we should! Come on! Come on! Did you bring the bubbly Lindsey?
LINDSEY:
(PRESENTING A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE) Cause I did!
NOBLE:
Let's get it open then!
THE CHAMPAGNE IS CORKED AND LINDSEY POURS EVERYONE A GLASS
NOBLE (CONT'D):
Now a toast! Emily?
EMILY:
(RAISING HER GLASS) To a wonderful colleague who always brought comedy to our lives well except for Dr Flynn
EVERYONE LOOKS AT FLYNN WITH AN EVIL SMILE
BETSY:
Yes but that's a different type of comedy
FLYNN ROLLS HIS EYES
LAURENCE:
(QUIETLY TO NOBLE) Noble! They're bullying me!
NOBLE:
Flynn! They're laughing with you!
FLYNN:
Ugh! (ANOTHER EYE ROLL) (TERRIFIED) oh god!
FANTASY SEQUENCE INT. MESS - DAY:
FLYNN IS UP ON THE POLE AGAIN WITH THE DOCTORS LAUGHING AT HIM WHILST THROWING THEIR SPONGES
LAURENCE:
(TRYING DESPERATELY TO SMILE) Yes keep going. It's funny isn't it. I'm such a comedian. (STARTS CRYING)
END FANTASY SEQUENCE
LAURENCE CLOSES HIS EYES IN HIS SADNESS
EMILY:
Anyway your sense of humour always lightens up our days Graham and we salute you for it!
GRAHAM:
Oh well thank you it's always great to work with such wonderful people!
RICHARD:
We wish you the very best with your new lady friend.
ADAM:
And we'll all be at the wedding so she better be hot!
GRAHAM:
Oh she is mate!
NOBLE:
(RAISING HIS GLASS) To Graham. A man who we can laugh at and not get shouted at for it!
GRAHAM:
(LAUGHS) Hey if it gets me money, I'm up for it!
THE DOCTORS LAUGH AT GRAHAM'S GAG
EMILY:
To Graham!
ALL:
(RISING GLASSES) to Graham!
NOBLE:
Now! Onto the good stuff!
GRAHAM:
Ah yeah what's that then Stephen?
NOBLE:
You know! When's the stag party!
ALL THE MALE DOCTORS GET EXCITED
GRAHAM:
Ah now I'm afraid they're wont be one!
ALL THE MEN SUDDENLY BECOME DISAPPOINTED
NOBLE:
What! That's absurd!
GRAHAM:
Yeah I know but unfortunately we've asked everywhere and we can't find a suitable hosting venue. Nothing is available!
MORE DISAPPOINTMENT FROM THE DOCTORS -
RICHARD:
Mate you've gotta have a stag party!
GRAHAM:
Yeah well Sarah really wants a big wedding so she doesn't want me to spend a lot of money on it so…
NOBLE:
Ah that sucks! I mean I'd host it mate but you know my wife has issues about bring loads of men into the house and what have you
GRAHAM:
Ah well I don't matter. I mean this is good and I've got women in this party so I get to get flirty and hang out with my mates.
ALL THE GIRL DOCTORS LAUGH WITH GRAHAM AND GET FLIRTY WITH HIM FOR A JOKE
NOBLE:
Well it's not over yet. If you'd like to follow all of us to the registrars common room, (RAISING EYEBROW) there's a little present waiting for you!
ALL THE DOCTORS CLAP AND CHEER IN AGREEMENT
GRAHAM:
Oh brilliant. You are all great mates!
ALL THE DOCTORS INCLUDING GRAHAM BEGIN EXITING LEAVING ONLY NOBLE AND FLYNN IN THE ROOM
NOBLE:
(CALLING TO GRAHAM) I'll join you later just gonna have a word with (INDICATING FLYNN) this little fella
ALL THE DOCTORS EXIT AND NOBLE SWITCHES HIS ATTENTION TO FLYNN
NOBLE (CONT'D):
See. This isn't so bad!
LAURENCE:
I haven't talked to anyone yet
NOBLE:
Well you should! They'd love to hear from you
LAURENCE:
(LAUGH) I don't think so!
NOBLE:
Look who do you think hates you by the way
LAURENCE:
Everyone?
NOBLE:
Who in particular?
LAURENCE:
Mr Ron?
NOBLE:
Oh he hates everyone. He hates me and I'm the best doctor in hospital
LAURENCE:
How can you be sure of that
NOBLE:
Cause I'm the only one from Cambridge!
LAURENCE GIGGLES
LAURENCE:
Erm
NOBLE:
Who else?
LAURENCE:
All those doctors? You? Judy?
NOBLE:
Oh. Judy. She's a tough cookie isn't she
LAURENCE NODS SADLY
NOBLE (CONT'D):
Look these people don't hate you. They just find you funny!
LAURENCE:
Yeah in a bad way!
NOBLE:
Ah what's a bad way in comedy! All you've gotta do is laugh at yourself and you'll right.
LAURENCE:
(DISSATISFIED) ok
NOBLE:
As for Judy.
FLYNN:
Oh no no no! I'm not taking love advice from you again Noble!
NOBLE:
And why might that be. You're forgetting I am South Middlesex's king of sex!
FLYNN:
Your wife must be very proud! Remember the last time I took women impressing advice from you?
(FLASHBACK) INT. MESS - DAY
FLYNN WALKS IN WITH A YOUNG NUN (MID TWENTIES) (SISTER CLAIRE)
SISTER CLAIRE:
It's very kind of you to show me around the hospital Dr Flynn.
FLYNN:
Oh no no problem.
SISTER CLAIRE:
So what's this wonderful thing you wanted to show me?
FLYNN:
Oh it's just here (INDICATES SOFA) her make your self comfortable
SISTER CLAIRE:
Ok
SISTER CLAIRE SITS DOWN ON THE SOFA
FLYNN (CONT'D):
Ok
MOUSSE T'S "HORNY" STARTS PLAYING AS FLYNN BEGINS TO START STRIPPING
SISTER CLAIRE BECOMES MORE AND MORE TERRIFIED UNTIL SHE FINALLY STOPS HIM AND THE MUSIC
SISTER CLAIRE:
Er maybe I caught you at a bad time. I'm really sorry I think I ought to get back to the convent.
FLYNN:
(INNOCENT) oh why?
SISTER CLAIRE:
I just don't think my presence is appropriate I must go. Nice to have met you
SISTER CLAIRE RUNS OFF SCREAMING
END FLASHBACK
FLYNN:
I got banned from church
NOBLE:
Come on she must have found it a bit funny
FLYNN GIVES NOBLE THE EVILS
NOBLE (CONT'D):
It seems to me that all your problems lie from the fact that you're just not mixing enough. Why don't make some new friends.
FLYNN:
Well we'd all like to make new friends Noble but… what are the odds of that happening
NOBLE:
Making friends is easy
FLYNN:
Yeah for you. Come on Noble do you honestly see me making any new friends?
NOBLE:
Why don't you have a party? (STANDS UP) in fact! Why don't you host graham's stag night!
FLYNN:
(STANDS) That's a GREAT idea! (SITS DOWN) if I had a place to host it
NOBLE:
(SITS DOWN WITH FLYNN) come on Flynn there must be somewhere you can live.
FLYNN:
No believe me I've looked every where. All the flats available are either too expensive, in another country or about to fall down. (BEAT) face it Noble I wasn't made to make any friends in my life nor to have the perfect home to do it in. (BEAT) Unless my auntie Emma owns the Nightingale Place building not far from here and one of her tenants has just left.
NOBLE:
That's perfect! Why didn't you think of that before?
FLYNN:
I don't know! (PICKING UP THE PHONE IN THE MESS) I'll give my sister a ring now.
NOBLE:
Great! This'll be the perfect learning curve for you Flynn! Say don't you have the afternoon off?
FLYNN:
Yes I do! I can move in today and have the stag night tomorrow! I'm sure my sister wont mind
NOBLE:
Excellent! Graham will be so thrilled! You'll be the most popular doc in no time!
FLYNN:
Well I don't know about that
NOBLE:
No need to be nervous Flynn! Just think. What could possibly go wrong? Remember that phrase and you'll feel so much better. See you later
NOBLE EXITS
FLYNN:
Bye. (BEAT) (TO HIMSELF) yeah what could possibly go wrong?
FLYNN SMILES AND BEGINS TO DIAL ZIGGY ON THE PHONE
END OF ACT ONE