Post by highvoltageziggy on Mar 2, 2007 19:39:54 GMT -5
SCENE 5. INT. NOBLE HOUSEHOLD - MAIN LIVING AREA - DAY LAURENCE SITS ON THE SOFA WEARING NOTHING BUT A WHITE BATHROBE STILL DAMP FOR A BATH HE HAD EARLIER. HE IS LOOKING AT A HOUSING MAGAZINE CIRCLE POTENTIAL PROPERTIES NOBLE ENTERS FULLY DRESSED WITH SOME TEA. LAURENCE: Thanks for letting me stay Noble. Its always been a dream to get out of that place. NOBLE: Oh no problem. How's the house hunting going? LAURENCE: Terrible. I can't afford any of these NOBLE: (LOOKING AT THE MAGAZINE) oh that's old. Doesn't have the new values in (HANDING FLYNN A NEWER PROPERTY MAGAZINE). Here's the new one. You'll probably find it's a bit more realistic. LAURENCE LOOKS AT THE MAGAZINE AND NEARLY BUSTS INTO TEARS FLYNN: Oh no! (BEAT) I'll never move into any of these. NOBLE: Why not? FLYNN: (SHOWS NOBLE THE MAGAZINE) Well look at the price, look at the location and that's just the single rooms on top of arcades! NOBLE: It's not that bad. (INDICATES) Here look at that one. That seems nice. Only 55 thousand. FLYNN: Oh no. I enquired about that one eelier. They told me it was a luxury apartment, with easy access and a peaceful environment. NOBLE: And? FLYNN: Turned out to be a cleaner's office in a toilet block in the middle of Trafalgar Sqaure. NOBLE: Nice and central? LAURENCE GIVES NOBLE AN IRRITATED LOOK NOBLE (CONT'D): What about that place? FLYNN: (DISGUSTED) I can't live there! NOBLE: Why not? It's only a mile to the hospital FLYNN: (BEAT) yes from Heathrow airport! (BECOMES MORE NEUROTIC) Ugh this is impossible! How could this happen? NOBLE: It happened to everyone Flynn. FLYNN: Oh well it's alright for you! You have a cosy house to come home too everyday with your pots of money waiting for you to burn them! NOBLE: Don't take this out on me Flynn! FLYNN: (NEUROTIC TEARFUL RANT) Oh and how can I not! You always have everything going on for you all the time with your money and your job and your women it’s not fair! (CRYING) Just once in my life I want things to go my way! I need a drink! FLYNN STANDS UP AND BEGINS TO FETCH A DRINK FROM THE TABLE BUT NOBLE STOPS HIM NOBLE: Your not drinking after you've had a bath! FLYNN: Why not! NOBLE: Well for one you need to learn to control yourself and two I know you can say "I can talk" but I don't want you getting out of hand. (BEAT) (NOTICING HOW FLYNN IS DRESSED ONLY IN THE BATHROBE) Your not dressed for it! (BEAT) (PLACING FLYNN ON THE SOFA AGAIN) Besides the whole point of you being here is so you can relax. You can't do that if you need booze to control yourself. We drink enough of that at the hospital! FLYNN: Your right. I'm sorry NOBLE: It's fine. In the meantime you can stay as long as you need. There's no need to worry. LAURENCE SMILES
Wow, they've all been busy while I've been offline. The mind boggles to think what might happen while drunk and wearing a damp bathrobe..... oh wait, that's not hard to imagine at all... last Sat'dy nite!
Post by highvoltageziggy on Mar 6, 2007 15:20:22 GMT -5
Just to show how much I love all of you, here is the next chapter!
Introducing Noble's wife Sabrina! :B
NOBLE'S WIFE SABRINA ENTERS. SHE IS A GOTHIC, QUIRKY AND INDEPENDENT-LOOKING WOMAN IN HER EARLY THIRTIES COMPLETE WITH BLACK EYE SHADOW, JET BLACK HAIR AND DARK LIPSTICK WEARING A RED SOUTH MIDDLESEX PSYCHIATRIC NURSE DRESS. LAURENCE STANDS LOOKING AT HER IN COMPLETE SHOCK LAURENCE: hello SABRINA: Oh Hello. You must be doctor Flynn. Stephen's told me all about you! LAURENCE: Oh really? NOBLE: (PUTTING HIS ARM AROUND SABRINA) This is my wife Sabrina FLYNN BECOMES EVEN MORE SHOCKED LAURENCE: What! NOBLE: This is my wife Sabrina FLYNN STANDS STARING FOR A MOMENT LAURENCE: (PAUSE) Oh! SABRINA: Are you alright? FLYNN CONTINUES TO STAND STUNNED. LAURENCE: (PAUSE) Really? SABRINA: Has something scared you? NOBLE: It's your eye shadow darling SABRINA: (CLICKING HER FINGERS AT NOBLE) shut up Stephen! FLYNN: No. It's just… You weren't quite what I was expecting! SABRINA: Oh can I ask what you we're expecting NOBLE: Yeah Flynn are you saying she's ugly! (BEAT) I mean her make up is but really… SABRINA ELBOWS NOBLE FLYNN DESPERATELY TRIES TO TAKE BACK WHAT HE JUST SAID FLYNN: NO! no! no! It's just…. SABRINA: What? NOBLE: (PUTTING FLYNN ON THE SPOT) Yes Flynn! What! FLYNN: (IN A BIT OF A PANIC) Well… You're not… Like all the other women he's always with SABRINA: (ANGRILY TO NOBLE) What other women? NOBLE: (TRYING TO ACT INNOCENT) Err..(WALKS UP TO FLYNN AND TAKES HOLD OF HIS SHOULDERS) Flynn that's not the way you talk to women is it? (TO SABRINA) Sorry he's not used to female attention. He's a virgin. FLYNN SHAKES NOBLE'S HANDS OFF OF HIM IN HIS ANGER AND GIVES NOBLE THE EVILS NOBLE (CONT'D): Lets just forget all about it SABRINA: (FOLDING HER ARMS) Oh no I think I'm too interested now! NOBLE SLOWLY SITS SABRINA DOWN ON THE SOFA NOBLE: My dear Sabrina. You've obviously had a big day at work. Why don't me and Flynn go into the kitchen and make you a nice cup of tea. And it will be extra special as we're both making it! Isn't that right Flynn? FLYNN: (TRYING TO COVER HIS ANGER) yes NOBLE: Come on Flynn NOBLE DRAGS FLYNN INTO THE KITCHEN AREA OUT OF SABRINA'S SIGHT FLYNN: What did you tell her that for! NOBLE: (DESPERATE) Flynn! As much as I understand how much revenge you want to get on me I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut! FLYNN: (CYNICALLY) Oh so you don't tell your wife what you do in your spare time! NOBLE: No I don't. By the way why are you so surprised by her? FLYNN: (LOOKING AT SABRINA) Well she's quirky and beautiful NOBLE: Yeah. And? FLYNN: Well you usually go for the easy escort girls! NOBLE: Correction I go for what ever girl I can find! FLYNN: I'm surprised NOBLE: Why? You don't fancy her do you? FLYNN: Well no. I mean she's lovely but you know my heart belongs to Judy! NOBLE: Well good because she's mine! We've been married for 4 years now I don't want that to change! I love that woman! FLYNN: Aww that's sweet Noble NOBLE: Yeah yeah yeah don't go softy on me I'm telling the truth! FLYNN: Here's me thinking you’re a prince charming disguised prostitute when you really do care for women and their sensitive needs. LAURENCE REALISES THE CHEESINESS OF WHAT HE HAS JUST SAID AND GETS VERY AFRAID FLYNN (CONT'D): Oh my god! That sounded gay! NOBLE: You need that drink! FLYNN: Yes and a double dose of it! NOBLE MAKES FLYNN AND EXTRA STRONG PIMMS FLYNN GULPS IT DOWN IN DESPERATION FLYNN (CONT'D): Oh that's much better! LAURENCE STARTS SINGING TO HIMSELF "THE STRIPPER" TUNE AS HE GOES ON HE BEGINS TO STRIP HIMSELF BUT ITS STOPPED BY NOBLE NOBLE: FLYNN! SABRINA APPROACHES THE AREA SABRINA: What's going on! NOBLE DESPERATELY TRIES TO COVER UP THE DRUNK SUPPOSEDLY NAKED FLYNN IN HIS FRIGHT NOBLE: NOTHING SABRINA!
Post by highvoltageziggy on Apr 8, 2007 14:51:59 GMT -5
SCENE 6. INT. SAME PLACE - DAY LAURENCE SLEEPS ON THE SOFA WEARING HIS WHITE AND BLUE STRIPED PYJAMAS WITH A WHITE DUVET COVERING HIM NOBLE ENTERS IN PYJAMAS AND DRESSING GOWN AND OPENS THE CURTAINS WAKING HIM UP NOBLE: Morning Flynn LAURENCE GROANS AT THE THOUGHT OF GETTING UP NOBLE (CONT'D): Come on Flynn LAURENCE: (MOANING WEAKLY AND TRYING TO COVER HIMSELF WITH HIS DUVET) No I don't wanna NOBLE: Come on Flynn it's just work! LAURENCE: It's work for you, it's hell for me NOBLE: Come on! You don't wanna miss today anyway. It's Graham's engagement party! LAURENCE: Oh. Who's Graham? NOBLE: Graham! Lowestoft. Big joker from orthopaedics! LAURENCE: No I don't know him NOBLE: You must know him. Everyone knows Graham. Does all the stand up at the doctor's union. LAURENCE: No I've never heard of him NOBLE: Well that's shit LAURENCE: Noble you've got to bear in mind that most of the people at South Middlesex that you hang around with don't like me! So, I hope you don't mind, I don't usually bother learning all their names. (BEAT) I think it would be inappropriate for me to be there don't you think? NOBLE: Come on! What's the worst that could happen? LAURENCE THINKS TO HIMSELF
FANTASY SEQUENCE: INT. MESS - DAY A GANG OF DOCTORS INCLUDING DR GRAHAM LOWESTOFT AND NOBLE ARE THROWING SPONGES AT WHAT APPEARS TO BE A HUMAN TARGET GRAHAM: Hey great engagement present Noble! NOBLE: Oh no problem! Try and get a shot in his nose! That's where he's weakest! THE TARGET IS NOW REVEALED TO BE LAURENCE, TAPED TO A POLE. HE HAS BEEN STRIPPED NAKED BUT IS WRAPPED IN A WHITE SHEET AND IS SOAKING WET FROM THE SPONGES HE TRIES DESPERATELY TO KEEP A SMILE WITHOUT CRYING LAURENCE: Yes, your all aiming much better! LAURENCE GETS WHACKED IN THE CHEEK BY A SPONGE RESULTING IN A SYRINGE BEING INJECTED INTO HIS FACE LAURENCE (CONT'D): Oh look that one had a morphine syringe attached to it but it's ok I'll just deal with it! END FANTASY SEQUENCE LAURENCE: I really think it would be inappropriate if I was there Noble! NOBLE: Come on! You know what your problem is Flynn? LAURENCE: No what? NOBLE: You don't socialise enough LAURENCE: (SARCASM) Oh gee I wonder why! NOBLE: You spend too much time in that little room of yours and now it's been taken away from you this is the perfect opportunity for you to get more. Come hang out with the doctors! Make some new friends! LAURENCE: Oh friends yeah that takes me back (DREAMY) That stuffed dolphin was really cute! NOBLE: Come to the party and enjoy yourself! Get pissed! LAURENCE: Fine! NOBLE: (TURNING FLYNN'S HEAD TO FACE HIM) there's a good boy! NOBLE CLICKS HIS TONGUE AT FLYNN AND BEGINS TO WALK OFF TO MAKE TEA LAURENCE NODS AT FIRST BUT THEN BECOMES OVERWHELMED WITH WORRY NOBLE: That wasn't a turn on LAURENCE SIGHS WITH RELIEF
That's because he sees everyone around him as an authority figure. If he got out and did something he liked doing he'd meet people who liked the stuff he does and make real friends who would support him! He needs a hobby, or to join a sports club or something. *now she's on the soapbox being mother to a fictional character *
Post by highvoltageziggy on Apr 8, 2007 18:19:54 GMT -5
SABRINA ENTERS IN A SEXUAL LIKE FASHION WEARING HER PYJAMAS SABRINA: (TO NOBLE) Oi! Lover boy! Are you ready to play! NOBLE: Oh you! Your ready already are you? SABRINA: Yep! I just make it harder for you everyday! FLYNN: Maybe I should give you two some space NOBLE: Ah na don't worry Flynn. This is just a little game she likes to play every morning SABRINA: (TO FLYNN) Hey it's for a good cause! If he ever wants kids he's gotta have enough stamina! (TO NOBLE) are you ready! NOBLE: Let the games begin! NOBLE TURNS ON THE CD PLAYER REVEALING SOME TRANCE INDIAN SITAR MUSIC. HE THEN PLAYS A GAME WITH SABRINA IN WHICH HE HAS TO CATCH HER WHILST SHE RUNS AROUND THE ROOM PAUSING IN SEVERAL PLACES TO SEXILY DANCE TO THE MUSIC WHILST CALLING TO HIM THAT HE NEEDS TO GO FASTER IF HE WANTS TO CATCH HER. WHILST THIS GOES ON, FLYNN BECOMES MORE AND MORE ATTRACTED TO SABRINA'S DANCING THIS GOES ON FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL SABRINA STARTS DANCING IN FRONT OF LAURENCE'S FACE. HE FINALLY FINDS HIMSELF UNABLE TO CONTROL HIMSELF AND STANDS UP IN A PANIC WHILST SHOUTING "OH GOD" AT THE SAME TIME AS TRYING TO COVER HIS NOW ERECTED PENIS. NOBLE AND SABRINA STARE AT HIM IN HORROR LAURENCE: (IN A STATE OF LARGE EMBARRASSMENT) Erm…sorry umm…. Perhaps I should go get changed in my car and… I'll meet you at the hospital later…. NOBLE AND SABRINA CONTINUE TO STARE LAURENCE (CONT'D): (PICKING UP HIS CLOTHES AND HEADING FOR THE FRONT DOOR) I'll see you in a bit then LAURENCE RUSHES OUT THE DOOR EXITING
SCENE 7. INT. LAURENCE'S CAR - DAY LAURENCE SITS STILL AT THE STEERING WHEEL STILL IN HIS PYJAMAS WITH THE LOCK OF COMPLETE FRIGHT ON HIS FACE LAURENCE: (TO HIMSELF) (DESPERATE) Ok… you just had a boner towards your only friends wife. Doesn't make you a bad man it was accident…. Just remain calm. NOBLE APPEARS FROM NOWHERE NOBLE: Flynn? LAURENCE SCREAMS AND DRIVES AWAY EXITING